This One’s For You Page 11

  By the time I was done, a couple hours had passed, and Amelia still hadn’t returned. I was starting to worry. I paced around the room, glancing at the clock as time passed by.

  I couldn’t stay in the room just waiting for her to return, so I grabbed my shower caddy, towel, and a change of clothes. I knew the showers were more than likely empty, and I needed to kill some time. I opened my door as quietly as I could, hoping that if Owen was in his room, he wouldn’t hear me. I tiptoed down the hall until I was a safe enough distance away before walking at a normal pace.

  I took the furthest stall from the door, turned the water to the hottest setting, and stepped in. The hot water beat against my skin, washing away the emotions of this evening.

  Once finished, I stood for several long minutes, staring at the large mirror along the wall. My eyes were empty—an all too familiar look. A year ago, they had the gleam of a bright, happy teenage girl. Now, they held secrets, heartache, and pain. They were strangers to me. It’s said that the eyes are the window to the soul, but I wasn’t sure that applied to me—I had no soul. Not anymore. I didn’t recognize the girl staring back at me anymore. I didn’t believe I’d ever see the girl I used to be again. It would take a miracle for my eyes to return to their bright blue shade. Instead I was left with these dull, lightless orbs that haunted me every time I saw my reflection.

  Releasing a deep sigh, I began to comb through my hair. Over and over again, I did this until I was sick of the sight in front of me. I slammed the comb onto the counter and grabbed my toothbrush, moving away from the mirror. Just before the mint-flavored toothpaste hit my tongue, an idea hit me like a ton of bricks.

  I reached for my phone and navigated to the school’s website. After clicking the link I needed, I entered my credit card information, and purchased what I was looking for. A few hundred dollars later, I had what I wanted, and crossed my fingers that my dad wouldn’t fly off the handle when he saw the charge.

  Suddenly, my mood lightened. I grabbed my things, and headed back to my room. I heard voices as I approached the door—Owen and Amelia were arguing. I pressed my ear against the door, straining to listen.

  “Where the hell is she?” Owen bellowed. His voice was deep and rugged, but also frantic.

  “I don’t know!” Amelia shouted back at him. “When I came back to the room, she was gone!”

  A loud crashing noise came from the other side of the door, and I knew something had fallen. I jumped back, took a deep breath, and slowly put my ear back against the door.

  “What do you mean she was gone?” Owen asked, raising his voice above hers.

  “Just that,” Amelia said, laughing nervously. I heard footsteps moving around the room, and then her voice came back, thick with sarcasm. “Poof! Gone, just like that.”

  More crashing sounds followed. I swallowed the lump in my throat, turned the handle, and pushed the door open. The first thing I saw were the books on the floor. A chair was knocked over, and the clothes I had just picked up were all over the place again.

  The two of them silently stared at me. I crossed the room as if everything was normal, and set my things on the bed.

  “Hey, guys,” I said, in a sweet voice. I felt their eyes on me, and turned to face them. “I hope you two don’t have any plans today. I got us prime seats to the game this afternoon.”

  I thought about the tickets I had purchased for the football game. Originally, I’d planned just to get them for Amelia, myself, and Callen, but I bought an extra one for Owen at the last moment. I knew students got free tickets to the game, but they were out when Amelia went to claim them. Besides, the ones I got really were prime seats.

  The two of them glanced at one another—they were clearly shocked. I knew I knew was overdoing my behavior, putting on too much of a show, but that was one of my many faults. I experienced constant mood swings. One minute, I was depressed, and the next I was as happy as could be.

  Right then, I was somewhat in between, but I planned to ride it out as long as I could. I never knew when I’d snap back into the sad, depressed, the-world-was-coming-to-an-end mood.

  “Football?” The harsh tone in Owen’s voice made my skin crawl. “That’s what you want to talk about?” He looked at Amelia, then back to me. “Why don’t you tell us what happened yesterday?”

  “I was suddenly hit with a bout of homesickness,” I answered too quickly. I’d already figured out that’s what I was going to use as an excuse. I knew they’d want to talk about it, but there was no way in hell I was about to tell anyone anything.

  “Bullshit,” Owen said.

  “Brennan,” Amelia said, her response overlapping Owen’s. She stepped toward me. “I know you’re lying.” Her voice was soft.

  I knew it was ridiculous to think they’d actually fall for it. “A major part of college is being homesick,” she said. “Hell, I’m homesick. But you started crying—crying harder than that rainstorm—out of nowhere. People don’t just do that and then not explain it. We’re your friends. You need to tell us so we know how to help you. It’s not healthy keeping things bottled inside.”

  “I already have a mother,” I snapped. “There’s no need to lecture me.”

  Her face dropped, and I could see the hurt on her face.

  “Look,” I sighed. “I know what happened yesterday was weird, I do. But I’m fine now. Can we just leave it at that? Please?” I begged.

  The both of them shook their heads.

  Owen approached me, brushing my cheek with his fingers. He cupped my face with his hands and stared at me with his big green eyes. Some unspoken moment passed between us. I couldn’t explain it—his eyes just looked at me with understanding. He exhaled softly.

  “We can leave it at that for now,” he whispered. “But eventually, you’re going to tell me why it happened. Whether you like it or not.”

  I nodded in agreement before I realized what I was doing.

  “What?” Amelia exclaimed. “We’re going to just drop it? What happened to the whole we weren’t going-to-leave-the-room-un—”

  “Enough, Amelia.” Owen cut her off. “For now, we’re leaving it alone. When she’s ready, she’ll tell us.” He kept his eyes locked on mine. “Now, what were you saying about tickets to the game?”

  I felt bad, and glanced over his shoulder at Amelia. I could see that she was hurt. I wished I could tell her why I freaked out yesterday, and why I was brushing it off. It was right there, on the tip of my tongue, begging to be shared, but no words came out.

  “Front row seats,” I answered, my voice barely a whisper. “Fifty-yard line. I got one for each of us, including Callen.”

  Owen dropped his hands and backed away at the mention of Callen’s name. I wasn’t sure why. Amelia started to laugh, and we both shifted our attention to her.

  “Have fun telling ball boy . . .” she said. Another laugh rumbled through the air. “He’s not going to drop it like the Bieber wannabe over here.” She nodded at Owen.

  “I’ll deal with Callen,” Owen replied. He glanced between the both of us, and raised an eyebrow “A Bieber wannabe? Really?”

  I looked over at Amelia, and she snickered. Owen nervously ran a hand through his hair, and we busted out laughing. Amelia abruptly stopped, crossing her arms over her chest. Okay, I thought, so things weren’t fine with us yet. I crossed the room and placed a hand on each of her upper arms.

  “A-meal-lee-ah,” I said, using a baby-like voice. “Please let this go, and say you’ll go to the game with us. I need someone to help me bring out the school spirit hiding inside of me.”

  I used her own moves against her—pouty lips and big puppy eyes. She stared at me long and hard. Several seconds passed before she relaxed and uncrossed her arms.

  “Fine.” She caved. A wide, fake grin appeared on her face, and she pulled me into her arms. “But no complaining about what I put on you.”

  “Deal,” I whispered in her ear.

  “Well,” Owen said. I released my ho
ld around her and faced him. “I’ll go fill Callen in on the plans. Let’s meet downstairs at noon.”

  He quickly left the room without another word.

  For a moment, I thought Amelia might seize the opportunity to jump down my throat once he was gone, but she didn’t. Instead, she smiled again, and started rummaging through a small box near her bed.

  “Found it!” she squealed, pulling out some sort of paint tube.

  I had no idea what it was or what I was getting myself into, but I was about to find out. Amelia didn’t say much as she moved about the room. Occasionally she’d mutter, “There it is!” or “That’s perfect!” I couldn’t decide if she was talking to me, or herself. Eventually, she bumped me out of her way with her hip, and went to the closet.

  Clothes went flying in every direction. I stood out of the fire zone, and just let her be in her element. A dangerous-looking heel came soaring at me, and I ducked just in time to avoid a black eye. Finally, the whirlwind stopped, but Amelia didn’t look the least bit tired from what would’ve felt like a marathon to me. The room was a disaster again, and I shook my head at the mess.

  “Ready for me to work my magic?” she asked.

  With a slight nod, I gave her the go-ahead, silently hoping that I didn’t come out looking like the school hussy by the time she was done.

  A few hours later, we were heading downstairs to meet up with the guys, my stomach in knots. I had no idea what Owen had said to Callen, and I was worried neither of them would be able to enjoy the day.

  I had to hand it to Amelia, though. She managed to bring out the school spirit in the both of us, and even left my dignity intact. We both had on black leggings, dark green tank tops that had the letters “WTD” printed on them. She explained that WTD was the school’s unofficial motto for sporting events, and that it stood for Win the Day.

  She insisted that I wear a pushup bra to make the small handfuls on my chest more noticeable. I thought she was ridiculous, but I did it anyway. Using green paint, she wrote “Oregon” on my right cheek, and then used yellow paint to write “Ducks” on my left. After loosely braiding my hair with green and yellow ribbons, she tucked little pompoms into my waistband.

  It was perfect. Not too much, and not too little.

  As we waited out in the courtyard, I was glad to find that Amelia wasn’t as crazy as the rest of the other UO students. I was quickly lost in a sea of unfamiliar yellow-and-green faces, yellow-and-green wigs, and yellow-and-green dyed hair. It looked like a circus, but it was totally exhilarating. I loved it—it was nothing I’d experienced to date, and somehow, I knew it was something I could get used to.

  I saw Callen first.

  His look was understated, but showed his love for the school. He was wearing a pair of khaki shorts, a green Oregon shirt, and mismatched yellow-and-green knee-high socks. He had two warrior stripes on each cheek, and he was carrying a giant green foam finger. Okay, so maybe “understated” wasn’t the correct word, but compared to the others, he was pretty tame.

  I noticed his hesitation as he approached us, his chest rising and falling slowly as he took a deep breath. “Hey,” he said.

  He offered me a weak smile. I could see the struggle on his face, and knew he was trying his best not to question me about yesterday. I reached out and gave him an awkward, one-armed hug. He sighed, and swooped me into his arms. His hand smoothed down the back of my head, and I mumbled into his chest, “Hey.”

  “Well, look at you, California,” Amelia said, her voice high and full of excitement. There she went with the nicknames again. I giggled and pulled out of his arms. “Aren’t you all ducked out?” she asked.

  I felt Owen behind me before I turned around. My body was humming with pure energy, and I felt that pull that drew me to him. Slowly, I faced him, unprepared for what I was about to see.

  I started to laugh—a full-on rib-bursting laughter.

  Owen was one of the craziest fans out there; I almost didn’t recognize him. In fact, if I hadn’t felt that energy pulsating between us, I wouldn’t have known the guy standing in front of me was him.

  I eyed the person before me with caution. His face was painted green, and “Go Ducks” was written in yellow on his cheeks. He was wearing a half-green, half-yellow ’fro wig, and he had on the same shorts he’d worn when he stayed over to keep an eye on Amelia. His shirt had to be the brightest yellow I’d ever seen—so bright, I was almost blinded by it. Like Callen, he had on extra-long tube socks, only his were striped.

  “Owen?” I asked.

  “That’s my name,” Owen answered in a velvety voice.

  Amelia grabbed his face and planted a huge kiss on his cheek. Much to my surprise, the paint didn’t rub off. “Did I mention that I love this guy?” she asked, jutting her thumb toward him.

  Callen clutched his hand by his heart, feigning heartbreak. He stumbled a few steps back, and shook his head. “And here I thought it was me that you loved,” he joked.

  “There’s enough of me to go around.” She teased back. His face fell at her words but she seemed oblivious to it. She flashed a smile, took a few long strides, and jumped into his arms. Randomly placing several kisses along his face.

  My heart warmed. This is how life’s supposed to be, I thought. I rubbed the locket, looked up to the sky, and I knew Reagan was watching, smiling and happy for me. For the time being, that would be enough, until the demons snuck their way back into the front of my thoughts.

  “Well, we better get going,” Callen said. “Autzen Stadium may not be far, but it’s going to take a decade to get there if we keep standing around.”

  “I suppose we’re taking Amelia’s Jeep?” I asked. Everyone looked at me like I was insane, like I had just committed treason. “What?”

  They all chuckled. Amelia looped her arm through mine, and we started to walk. “Sweetheart,” she said in a loving tone. “We aren’t taking the beast. Parking is going to be hell, which is why we’re taking the bus.”

  We crossed the campus, and waited with what seemed like half of the university for the shuttle. It arrived shortly after, and we all piled on, one by one.

  I was right in thinking it would be the bus ride from hell. While I was sandwiched between an old man who liked to play grab ass and a guy who apparently didn’t know that deodorant existed, Amelia seemed perfectly content standing between Owen and some guy she kept fanning herself over—indicating she thought he was hot. Callen was across the bus from me, stuck dealing with an old lady jabbering in one ear and a group of teenage girls in the other.

  It was comical, to say the least.

  Halfway to the stadium, Callen mouthed for me to help him. My laughter was cut short when the pervert behind me reached out and tried to grab a handful of my goods. Before the man could get even the slightest pinch, however, Owen appeared. “Excuse me,” he said, not trying to hide the irritation in his voice. He not-so-politely nudged the old man out of the way and stood behind me.

  I froze. My body could feel every part of him touching me. When he placed his hand on my waist, my body began vibrating with raw desire. My skin danced with gooseflesh as he brushed a few loose strands off the back of my neck. I could feel his breath on my ear. He was close . . . so close . . .

  “Is this okay?” he whispered.

  “Mm-hmm,” I said, barely able to contain my ecstasy. I leaned my head back, and his lips hovered over the nape of my neck. I moaned softly. “Thanks for rescuing me again.”

  His hand dropped, and I felt his body tense. I pressed into him—even after a few seconds, I already missed the weight of his hand on me. He inhaled sharply. “Just friends,” he strained.

  I’m not sure how I maneuvered it, but I was able to spin around. Our noses were merely inches apart and I pressed into him again.

  “Mmm . . .” I purred. “You and I could never be friends.”

  “Brennan!” Amelia’s voice snapped me out of my haze.

  I turned back around and saw that
everyone nearby was looking at us. Heat flooded my face. There was nowhere for me to hide, so I held my head high and pretended that none of that happened.

  Forty-five minutes later, we finally reached our destination. I got off the bus as quickly as I humanly could, desperate to be free of the intensity of everyone’s eyes. The fresh air felt like heaven, instantly calming my mind and queasy stomach.

  Amelia pulled me off to the side. “What the hell was that?” she asked.

  “What are you talking about?” I said, acting like I had no idea what she was meant.

  “Don’t play dumb with me,” she retorted. “I’m talking about you and Mr. Sex-on-legs practically eye-fucking each other on the bus.” My mouth dropped at her choice of words. “The sexual tension between you two was so hot, even my panties were wet.”

  “Oh my Go—” I started, but I couldn’t finish the sentence. My face flushed with embarrassment. Was it too late to go back? Where was Dr. Who’s Tardis when I needed it?

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Amelia said. “And the answer is yes—everyone saw it too.”

  I buried my face in my hands. What was I going to do? There was no way I could spend the next six hours around Owen. I obviously couldn’t keep my libido to in check, but I couldn’t go back to the dorm, so I’d have to grit my teeth and just deal with.

  A few minutes later, the boys joined us. I could feel Owen staring at me, but I refused to meet his gaze. “All right,” I said. “Let’s go pick up the tickets and watch some football!”

  Our small group cheered. We made our way across the parking lot toward the ticket booth. I was aware of Owen behind me, staring holes into the back of my head.

  It’s only a few hours, I reminded myself. What harm could a few hours do?

  ***

  Closing in on the end of the fourth quarter, the Ducks were winning by a landslide. The opposing team had the ball and was close to scoring, but it didn’t matter. We had this in the bag. As the clock dropped to ten seconds, the crowd started a countdown. When the clock struck zero, cheers erupted throughout the stadium. Everyone was buzzing with excitement and jumping up and down relentlessly. Amelia stood beside me screaming at the top of her lungs.