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  I snapped. I raised my hand, making contact with his cheek, and winced at the stinging sensation that followed. There was a collective gasp around us. Owen’s eyes darkened as he stepped forward.

  “What the hell was that for?” he hissed.

  “You know what it was for,” I snapped, gasping for air. I had to leave. I had to get out of here and away from him before I attacked him again. Before the nurses called the police and I’d be dragged away in handcuffs. “You know how I feel about the situation you just put yourself into. How could you be so incredibly stupid to do something like that?”

  His face fell. And for the first time, I think he realized the reality of the situation. He opened his mouth to say something but clamped it shut. What was there to say? Nothing he might come up with could justify his choice. Or his actions. All of them, and not just his “accident.”

  “Bren—”

  “No,” I cut him off. “You and I . . . we’re through. Stay the hell away from me.” I walked past him, slamming my shoulder into his.

  I didn’t stop walking until we were a block away from the dorms. I walked across a patch of grass and sat underneath a large tree. Amelia appeared, taking a seat next to me. She wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close to her.

  I cried again as I replayed the course of today through my head. How could everything be so right one second, and be so wrong the next? I sighed heavily as the first tear fell. This time . . . my tears were at the finality of the situation.

  Owen and I were done. There was no repairing the destruction that happened today.

  ***

  The days that followed moved painfully slow. I almost skipped my mythology final, afraid of seeing Owen, but Callen dragged me out of bed. He walked me into my class and was waiting right by my door when it was over. I wasn’t sure how well I did, but I really didn’t care.

  While my friends were being great, things were still tense. Especially between the two of them. I didn’t quite understand why, but I was too emotionally drained to ask.

  I went through the motions of the day, finishing up all my finals as they came. Amelia had changed her plans for spring break to come home with me. I was going to need her by my side if I was going to pretend that everything was okay.

  No one in my family knew what happened between Owen and me. They were unaware of the fact that we had broken up, and they weren’t going to know for a while. I didn’t want them to know. I wasn’t ready the fallout that was going to come with it. My brothers would lose their minds.

  Everyone around me avoided talking about Owen, but it didn’t stop the stares I received around campus. I was aware of the whispers that were exchanged as I passed by. I locked myself up in my dorm room most of the time. Checking off the days on the calendar to when it was time to get away.

  I didn’t see Owen after leaving the hospital that night. I would be completely happy if I never had to see him again. He didn’t realize how it nearly broke my heart when I heard what had happened.

  I thought I was going to have to go through the same thing I went through a year ago. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t care about the fallout we had before that. I wasn’t even mad about it anymore—I’d expected it.

  No, what killed me, what made this so hard on me, was what he chose to do after that. He got into a car, intoxicated, and ended up in the hospital. He was lucky that it didn’t turn out to be worse than that. But what hurt me the most was how he acted like it wasn’t a big deal afterward.

  It was.

  Owen knew the intimate details of the accident I was involved in last year. The one that cost my best friend her life. He knew of things I never shared with anyone. Like the feeling of someone gutting me when it was confirmed that Reagan was gone, or how at night when I closed my eyes, I could still hear the tires squealing against the loose gravel. Yet, it still didn’t stop him from getting behind the wheel.

  And that was something I don’t think I could ever forgive him for.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  I WAS FREE AT LAST!

  I’d just taken my final exam for the semester. I had a smile plastered to my face as I headed back to my room. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of Eugene. There was only one more night I had to get through. Tomorrow, Amelia and I were loading up the beast and heading toward Lake Forest Park.

  So when I got back to our room and saw Amelia leaning over the side of her bed, getting sick in the wastebasket, it was understandable why the smile disappeared from my face.

  “Hey,” I said gently, closing the door behind me. “Are you okay?”

  “No.” Her voice was weak. She pushed the can under her desk, grabbed some perfume, and spritzed it in the air. I knew she wasn’t feeling the greatest this morning, but I had hoped she’d recover. “I think I’m coming down with the flu.”

  I crossed the room, knelt next to her bed, and pressed the back of my hand to her forehead. “Oh, you’re burning up.”

  “You don’t think I know that.” She laughed hoarsely. At least she still had her sense of humor.

  “I’m going to run to the store and get you some medicine. I’ll call my parents to let them know we aren’t coming up tomorrow.”

  “You don’t have to stay here and babysit me, Brenn,” she said. “Go see your family.”

  “Not a chance,” I replied, laughing lightly.

  Amelia snuggled under her covers, visibly struggling to get comfortable. I walked over to the curtains and pulled them shut, blocking out the bright sun. I flipped the light switch, hoping that eliminating some of the light would help her get comfortable.

  I spun on my heels to make my way down the hall when I collided into someone. I held my breath, praying that it wasn’t who I thought it was.

  I could hardly hide my disgust when I realized I crashed into another girl coming from Owen’s room.

  He wasted no time before slinking back to his old ways.

  “I am sooo sorry,” the girl with golden-blonde hair said. She stood a few inches taller than me. I gave her a look over, taking in her tight jeans and shirt. “I didn’t see you when I came out.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” My voice was clipped. I turned to walk away when her voice stopped me again.

  “Brennan or Amelia?” she asked.

  My feet froze in place. I looked back at her, raising an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

  “Sorry, Owen’s just told me so much about you guys. The girls across the hall . . .” Her words trailed off. I narrowed my eyes, taking a better look at the person in front of me, when I realized I was staring into the same pair of eyes that haunted me at night. “Oh! I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Aspen . . .” She held out her hand to me. “Owen’s sister.”

  Oh! This was his sister! I had no idea what I expected when I thought of his younger sister. I never saw a picture of her, but I certainly didn’t expect the girl in front of me. When he said he had a younger sister, I thought he meant that she was ten or something. Not someone who seemed to be the closer to our age.

  I took her hand in my, shaking it lightly. “Brennan.”

  I cringed as she released a loud shrill. She threw her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, like we were the best of friends. “Ah! I was hoping I’d get to meet you while I was here!”

  I chucked softly as she released me from her embrace. “Uh, well, it’s good to meet you,” I said hesitantly. I peeked over to his door, hoping that he wouldn’t make an appearance. “Well, I better get going.”

  I turned around again and headed toward the elevator.

  “He’s sorry you know,” she called out to me. I stopped again, not looking back. I swallowed the lump in my throat as she continued. “All he can talk about is how he messed up. How he screwed everything up between the two of you.” Tears stung my eyes. I tried to will my feet to move, but they wouldn’t listen. “He won’t stop beating himself up over it. I really hope the two of you can work things out. He’s crazy a
bout you.”

  The first tear fell from my eyes at her last words. I wiped it away quickly. It had been nearly two weeks since everything happened. I was finally getting to a place where I didn’t break down and cry anymore. I was moving on. Tucking what we briefly shared to the back of my mind.

  When she didn’t say anything else, I started to walk again, carrying her words with me. He’s crazy about you played like a never-ending mantra in my head as I headed to the grocery store down the road from campus.

  I couldn’t focus on what I needed from the medicine aisle, so I grabbed a little of everything. Something in the pile sitting inside the basket would do the trick. I paid for the items, bagged them up, and made my way back toward the dorms.

  Amelia was sound asleep when I reentered our room with the bag full of medicine and a few bottles of Gatorade to keep her hydrated. I tiptoed across the room, not wanting to disturb her. I set the bag soundlessly on top of my bed and turned to go check on her. She was sitting up on her bed.

  “Hey, how are you feeling?” I asked softly.

  “Like death two times over.” She made light of her sickness. “Now, dope me up, dear doctor.”

  I handed her the bag, allowing her to go through the medicine. She laughed a couple of times before pulling out a box of Tylenol Cold & Flu. She took the recommended dosage, fluffed her pillow behind her, and leaned back.

  I sat with my back against the wall, staring blankly off in the distance. “You’ve got that look in your eyes.”

  “What look?” I asked, moving my gaze to hers.

  “The one where you’re thinking about something. You get these little lines by the corner of your eyes when you’re deep in thought.”

  I smiled, trying not to feel guilty that I never noticed small things like that about her. I banged my head lightly against the wall, and sighed. “I met Owen’s sister today.”

  “You did?” She perked up. “Where?”

  “Out in the hall.” I paused, thinking back to our encounter. I giggled softly. “I thought she was another one of his notches on the bedpost at first.”

  “Brennan,” she said cautiously. “You should talk to him.”

  My mouth fell open. I furrowed my eyebrows and gave her a look like she was crazy or something. “No,” I said, clear as day. “There’s nothing for us to talk about.”

  “I think there’s a lot for you to two to discuss.”

  “The minute he got behind that wheel, he sealed the deal.” I crossed my arms, over the conversation already. “I’m done talking about this.”

  Amelia wiggled her way down the bed until she was flat on her back again. She stared up at the ceiling. “Fine,” she said. “But you should know, he hasn’t been with anyone since the two of you broke up.”

  She rolled over to her side, her back to me. I sat there stunned, unable to form the words I wanted to ask. First of all, how did she know that? When did she talk to him? Why did I even care? It’s like I said, he sealed our fate when he climbed into Sam’s car.

  It didn’t take long before her mumbling words sliced through the air. I couldn’t make out what she was saying; I never could when she talked in her sleep.

  I pulled out my phone, dialing my father’s number, and left a message explaining that what was going on. I didn’t feel like having to deal with my mother, or brothers, when I broke the news that we wouldn’t be coming up. I called my father’s cell phone because I knew he was making rounds at the hospital. It was a cheap shot, but I didn’t care. He’d fill them in for me.

  The room was quiet, stifling, as I sat there essentially alone. Giving into boredom, I pulled out my laptop and went onto Netflix, eventually dozing off myself.

  I woke up to the incessant sound of Amelia’s phone vibrating on top of her desk. I rubbed my eyes, discovering my laptop was still open beside me. I closed it and moved it to the foot of my bed.

  “Amelia!” I said loudly, forgetting that she was sick. She rolled over, groaning. Her face was pale, and her eyes sunk into her head. She looked worse than she did before. “Sorry . . .” I lowered my voice. “You phone keeps going off.”

  She fumbled around the top of her desk until her hands fell on top of the phone. She pushed herself up and read whatever was on her phone in stone-cold silence.

  “It’s Owen,” she said, out of the blue.

  My stomach lurched. “What does he want?”

  “He wants me to tell you that he’s sorry,” she answered.

  “Why doesn’t he just text my phone?”

  I was annoyed with the fact that he was texting her about me.

  Amelia sighed. “You blocked his number, remember?”

  Oh, crap! She was right. I changed it the day after everything went down. I wanted to cut him off in all ways possible. I blocked him on all social media platforms and on my e-mail accounts. The only thing I couldn’t do was block him from knocking on my door. The downfall of him living right across the hall.

  “What do you want me to tell him?” she asked, glancing up from her phone. I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t care less what she said to him. I watched her fingers fly over the keyboard fluidly. She set her phone back on the desk, lay back down, and looked at me. “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.”

  ***

  Hello,” I answered my phone, half-asleep. What was it with phones going off today? First Amelia’s, now mine. I rubbed my face as I sat up.

  “Brennan,” Damon’s voice echoed in my ear. I sighed, lying back down on my bed, wondering if my brother would be mad if I accidentally hung up on him. “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to sleep,” I grumbled.

  I heard his deep breath on the other end of the phone. “How’s Amelia? Dad said she might’ve come down with the flu.”

  I lifted my head and saw that she was still sleeping. She was burrowed under her blankets, not making a sound, and if it wasn’t for her covers moving up and down with each breath, I’d be checking to make sure she was still breathing.

  “I think she’s going to get worse before she gets better.”

  “What about you? How are you holding up?”

  I squeezed the bridge of my nose, debating if I should tell him the truth about Owen. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “I’m fine,” I said, overplaying the cheerfulness in my tone.

  “You know that crap doesn’t work with me,” Damon responded. “I know that you and Owen broke up.”

  I gasped, sitting upright. How on earth did my brother know? Did he tell the rest of the family? As if he had read my mind, he spoke again. “Relax, no one else knows.”

  “How’d you find out?” I asked, trying to mask the shakiness in my voice.

  “He called me,” Damon answered, matter-of-factly. “The night everything happened.”

  There was a long pause hanging in the air. I didn’t know what to say. Or what to think in light of this new information. Owen had called Damon. I didn’t even know he had his number. What was hoping he’d gain from calling my brother? The thought worried me.

  “I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet,” I teased, making light of the situation. There was no way I was going to let Damon know that deep down, I wasn’t okay. If I pretended all was fine on my end, he’d drop it and never bring it up again.

  “Oh, trust me, I thought about it a couple of times.” The both of us laughed lightly. The dead air fell between us again. I shifted around my bed, trying to get comfortable. “You need to talk to him, B.”

  “What?” I scoffed. Though my brother couldn’t see it, I was shooting daggers at him through the phone. “You’re joking, right? You can’t seriously be on his side!”

  Amelia moved around on her bed as my voice raised an octave. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the anger rising in my veins. This was a joke, right? Damon had to be yanking my leg, because there was no way he’d suggest that I talk to Owen.

  “I’m not saying that you forgive him and give him an
other chance,” Damon continued. “All I’m saying is that you don’t know the entire story.”

  “What story is there to know? He got mad at me, ignored me all day, and I didn’t even know what I did wrong.” My words fell out of my mouth. “Then he goes and lets the one person I can’t stand the most give him a lap dance and acts like a jerk afterwards. Add in the fact that he thought it was smart to drink and drive.” I paused momentarily. “Oh! Let’s not forget about how big of a dick he was to me at the hospital either! What more to the story is needed? He made his choice, and it wasn’t me . . .”

  My words lingered in the air, hanging above me like a dark storm cloud.

  “I’m not saying what he did wasn’t wrong,” Damon said softly. “Because it was. I just really think you should talk to him. Get the full story and then maybe you’ll understand more.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that everyone knows something I don’t?” I questioned my brother.

  It was true. Callen, Amelia, and now my brother all had been telling me the same thing. There was more to the story, but none of them would tell me what it was. They just kept telling me that I needed to talk to him myself. That wasn’t going to happen. There was nothing he could tell me that would make everything okay again.

  I heard my brother sigh heavily into the phone. “Just think about it, Brennan.”

  “No,” I snapped. “I don’t care what he has to say. If that’s the only reason why you called then I’m hanging up.”

  When Damon didn’t say anything else, I had my answer. It was the only reason he called. I hung up, throwing my phone across the bed.

  I gritted my teeth, bunching up my comforter in my hands. What the hell was wrong with everyone? They were acting like Owen was the one that had his heart broken. Like I was the bad guy. Were they really that blind to see the fault in that logic? I slammed my fist on top of my bed out of frustration.

  “Hey.” Amelia’s weak voice grabbed my attention. “You okay?”

  “What are you all hiding from me?” I said sharply. Amelia struggled to push herself into an upright position. “Why is everyone so insistent on me talking to Owen?”