If I Say Yes (Say Something #1) Read online

  I gulp. My throat is dry, and I can’t breathe. What the hell am I supposed to do now? He is offering me the best alternative in the world, one that is a million times better than resigning. I can handle working side by side with him for a month just so I can transfer out of here. Well, at least I hope I can manage a month of working with him without caving in and ripping his clothes off in the process. But drinks at Gravity? That’s asking too much, even if he doesn’t know why.

  “If I say yes...” Reid’s full attention is on me. “It comes with one tiny exception… we sit at a table of my choosing.” He nods his head in agreement, and I let out a deep breath. Okay, this may work. I know the perfect table at the club where no one will see us. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Fine.” The word barely comes out as a whisper.

  Reid smiles as I stand up. This time his smile speaks volumes of triumph, that he has finally won. I turn, walking toward the door, and make no effort to close the door softly behind me. The sound of it slamming captures the attention of everyone in the lobby. As I walk through, I keep my head high and pretend to ignore the fact that they are all whispering about me. Heidi races over to me and brushes her bright red hair out of her face. “Everything okay, Liza?” She stares at me with her large, soft green eyes.

  “Just peachy,” I say harshly. I storm into my office and slam the door behind me.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  THE LAST TIME I had been in this alley, I was running in high heels and a wearing a tight black dress with tears streaming down my checks. I shudder at the memory and keep walking in my skinny jeans, flats, and plain, white baby doll T-shirt, an outfit that totally sticks out like a sore thumb at this club. I’m starting to second guess my outfit choice but realize that it’s not a big deal. I have no plans on going far enough into the club for anyone to really take notice. I plan on snagging one of the tables in the farthest, darkest corner, out of view of everyone.

  The alley is poorly lit as I walk down between the two brick buildings. I cross my arms over my chest and rub my arms in effort to keep them warm. I finally reach the back door and knock three times. The door is opened by a big, burly man with short black hair and arms the size of tanks. The sound of music blaring inside the club comes through the door, and I can see strobe lights flashing in the distance behind him.

  “Excuse me, miss, but this is not an entrance.” He steps out of the door frame and takes a possessive stance in front of it. “You’ll have to go around front if you want to try and get in.”

  “Not even for an old friend?” I mentally slap myself. What am I doing? I cannot tell Preston who I am, but the sight of him makes me miss him. The way he stands there reminds me of all the times he stood like that to protect me from awaiting paparazzi. It also reminds me that he is a man I can trust, a man I once considered my friend, and I want to tell him. Preston cocks his head to the side, raises an eyebrow, and eyes me curiously. “Elizabeth? Elizabeth Lewis?”

  “In the flesh.” I smile, and we both begin to laugh. Preston drops his big man façade and wraps me up into one his big ol’ teddy bear hugs. The man is ridiculously bulky, so much so that it is intimidating, but really he has the kindest of hearts.

  “I didn’t recognize you with the black hair.” He shakes his head and brushes a strand out of my face.

  I smile. “That’s kind of the point.”

  “I’m afraid your usual table is no longer available,” he says.

  “That’s quite alright. I have no intentions of sitting there.” And I don’t. My old table, the one directly in front of the dance floor, is in plain view for everyone to see. Literally. It doesn’t matter where you sit or stand in the club or which direction you are staring from, you have a direct line of sight to the people sitting in the fancy VIP booth. “Any of the tables in the back will do. Preferably one in the darkest corner.”

  Preston nods his head and moves to the side to let me pass. I walk down the dimly lit hallway with him close on my heels. The hall opens up to the familiar club that once was a constant part of my life. The scene remains unchanged. This club attracts a variety of people, but appeals more towards the upper social class and quite popular. The most gorgeous men and women come here. Women wearing skimpy dresses grind their bodies up against any man who’s willing on the dance floor in the middle of the club. Other women run their fingers up and down the arms of men having drinks at the bar on the left side of the club, regardless of the fact that they are wearing wedding rings. The rest of the women have arranged themselves on the laps of the men sitting in the private booths that circle the dance floor. The men are just as sleazy, if not worse. They take pleasure in the attention they are receiving and have no regard for their wives at home. It’s disgusting, and the men are nothing but pigs.

  It’s amazing how little a place can change in six years.

  “Will this work?” Preston says as he points to a table on the right. He clearly understands what I meant when I said I wanted the darkest, most out of sight table in the club.

  “This is perfect. Thank you.” I smile. “And if you could, please tell no one of my presence here.”

  “Your secret is safe with me, darling.” I slide into the booth and stare up at him. I never realized until now how much I have missed him. “It’s good to see you, Elizabeth. It’s been six years too long.”

  My heart pulls at his words. Maybe there are some people I should have never cut out of my life, him included. I don’t have the heart to tell him that this is the last and only time he will see me step foot in this club. After tonight, I plan on never ever coming in here again. Well, as long as I am not blackmailed into it again. Preston begins to walk away, and I call out to him. “Oh, and Preston…” He stops and glances towards me. “I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. He’ll be searching for me under the name of Liza Winter, so if you can, bring him to my table when he arrives. His name is Reid Harder.”

  The look on Preston’s face says he knows who I am talking about. How? That I didn’t know nor did I care to know. I just want to get this dumb drink and meeting thing over with and get the hell out of here. “Anything for you, Ms. Elizabeth.”

  At twenty minutes past nine, Reid still hasn’t shown up. If he isn’t here in the next ten minutes, I’m leaving. It’s as simple as that. I have already been here longer than I want to be. It’s only a matter of time before someone comes trekking through this area, seeking for a hiding place to do who knows what. I glance around to see if I can spot him. In a club this large, though, it’s nearly impossible. I notice a couple of people I knew from the past and shrink back in my chair. I’m sure if I can see them from where I am sitting, they can probably see me. Though they probably aren’t looking at me like I am at all of them.

  My heart aches momentarily as I realize none of my old friends are searching for me. That they are here, having the time of their lives on a Friday night, without a care in the world. I am long out of their minds. I know this is what I wanted, what I set out to do in the beginning, but even after six years, it still hurts that they all gave up so easily on our friendship when I shut them out. So much for being friends for life. The only one who didn’t give up on me and made it perfectly clear he wasn’t going anywhere was Elias. For which I am eternally grateful. If it wasn’t for him, I would truly be alone in this world.

  I peek at my phone again. Its twenty-five minutes past nine, and still no sign of Reid. I’m not going to wait any longer. I start to stand up and leave my table when Preston reappears. “Excuse me, Elizabeth, but it seems your Reid Harder guy has already arrived and is waiting for you at his table.”

  “Can you let him know that I will only meet him here?”

  “Already did…” Preston is still efficient as ever. “But he is insistent that you come to him. He also asked me to remind you that Horror is on the line, whatever that means.”

  “That bastard…” I mutter under my breath. He isn’t oblivious to my reluctance about coming here. He may not know the s
tory as to why, but he can’t be that stupid. “Where is he?”

  “Platinum booth.”

  “Of course he is.” My old table, which is the most open, most visible booth in the club. He is putting me on display when I least want it. My head screams at me to leave now and to turn in my resignation letter to Harder Senior on Monday and leave it at that. Nothing is worth what I am about to endure. “Is there a less visible path to get to it?” I know the answer to my question, but I still ask it regardless.”

  “’Fraid not, Elizabeth; you know that.”

  Yes, I do.

  All eyes are on me as I walk towards the platinum booth. The booth is in front of the dance floor, up on a high stage, on display for everyone to see and eye with jealousy whoever is sitting there. There’s only two ways to get to it. The first is to walk along the narrow walkway between the dance floor and the ring of booths that surround it. The second is to go right through the middle of the dance floor. I choose the first option. No one seems to notice who I am, but they still stare at me, no doubt because of my clothes. My outfit is the polar opposite of the women in the club with their too short dresses, their butt cheeks hanging out, and strapless tops that leave their cleavage in danger of falling out.

  I recognize more people now that I am down on their level. Some stare at me with disgust as I weave past them. Some shake their heads, while others just stare at me with disbelief. I really should have rethought my outfit tonight. I keep my head held high and my eyes straight forward. This walk is the longest five minute walk of my life.

  Reid is alone in the booth as I reach the top of the stairs. He is wearing a pair of dark wash jeans, a plain dark green shirt, and a pair of Converse. He looks even hotter than he does in a suit. A smile spreads across his face as he stands in front of the long, white sectional couch. The booth has not changed, much like the rest of the club. “You captured a lot of attention on your way up here,” he says, and another smile spreads across his face.

  I stop in front of the low glass table in front of him, cross my arms, and glare at him. Reid frowns and sits down on the couch. I walk around the table and sit on the far opposite end, as far away as I possibly can, making it perfectly clear that I am not happy to be here. “Oh, come on,” he says over the music. “At least act like you’re going to enjoy yourself.”

  “Why did you ask me here?” I ask brusquely. Reid moves closer to me on the couch, close enough so we no longer have to shout over the music.

  “To get to know you better outside of the work place. That way I can figure out how to help you.”

  “But why here? Why not a restaurant or someplace...” I catch myself before I say someplace intimate in the nick of time. I never want to find myself in an intimate setting with him. “Someplace else.”

  “I like the atmosphere.”

  “Right.” I laugh. “If you really want to get to know me better, you should know this isn’t my kind of scene. I don’t really fit in here.” I make a gesture to my clothes, and he moves closer. Our bodies are nearly touching now. I can smell the same rich cologne he was wearing earlier. My body vibrates with a hum of energy I have never felt before. His smell is intoxicating, so much so that I just want to reach out and touch the curve of muscles that defines his arms.

  “You could fit in anywhere you go,” he leans in and whispers in my ear. Another hum of energy dances through my body, and I move away. He’s too close. “You didn’t see everyone staring at you the way I did.”

  “It’s because I stand out with my clothes.” I try to move further away from him again and realize I am out of room on the couch. “What do you really want, Reid?”

  What all men want, I think to myself. I shake my head, trying to get the thought out of my mind. What I wouldn’t give to see him standing in front of me naked, to be tracing the lines of his body. Stop it. I mentally slap myself in the head. I cannot think about him like this. I cannot ever go there with him, or anyone. Reid is staring at me with a wide grin on his face, and I glare at him. “I want to get to know you better. To see what makes you tick, to know why you don’t like romance… and to see what makes you smile.”

  The last part comes out barely a whisper, and I’m almost sure I made it up. “Why do you need to know these things?” I ask breathlessly.

  “I can’t figure you out. But I want to…” His voice is eager. His eyes shift, dropping his mask, and revealing something much deeper to him. A need to feel loved. Something I can never give him. “I need to.”

  I say nothing and stare straight ahead. I can’t look at him, I better not even think about glancing at him, because if I do, all my hard work will blow right out of the window. I set these rules I have so I never risk falling in love again, so I never get my heart broken again, but Reid makes me want to throw caution to the wind and say to the hell with it. Something about him ignites my veins, and that feeling isn’t something I can trust. It’s a feeling I don’t know what to do with.

  “Dance with me?” he asks as he stands up and holds a hand out to me. I snap my attention back at him, and I swear my jaw hits the floor.

  “E-E-Excuse me?” His question came out of left field, and I never saw it coming. “No,” I say defiantly.

  “Dance with me… just one dance. What harm can it do?”

  CHAPTER SIX

  “OKAY.” The word is out of my mouth before I can even register what I have said. My body betrays me by standing up and placing my hand in his. The touch of his hand in mine sends a wave of excitement coursing through my body. Reid is smiling like a kid in a candy store, and before I can change my mind, he is dragging me down to the dance floor.

  A few heads turn to watch at us as we brush past them on the dance floor, but that’s all. A momentarily flicker of fear flashes in my mind. What if someone recognizes me? I don’t have another second to get my thoughts together and get off the dance floor before Reid pulls me against him. Our bodies began to sway to the music, my legs fitting perfectly between his, my body grinding against his. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck as he rests his hands on my waist and nuzzles his face near the nape of my neck. We lose ourselves in the music, and I don’t know how long we dance. I didn’t realize until now how much I missed this.

  I turn around, pressing my backside against his growing length, and his hands wander up and down my body. My body is on fire, yearning for his roaming hands to touch me in all of my sensitive places. I cast my eyes around the room, but no one is paying attention to us, and it’s just Reid and I against the music. That’s when I see his eyes on us, the dark blue eyes that belong to the guy who broke my heart all those years ago.

  All the air leaves my body, and I can’t breathe. I stop dancing and return his stare with horror. He smiles at me and winks; that’s when it hits me that he knows who I really am. “What’s wrong, beautiful?” Reid’s seductive voice whispers in my ear.

  I spin on my toes and stare at him. His dark eyes have filled of lust and hunger. “This was a mistake. I have to go.” I shove my way through the crowd as fast as I can. I don’t glance back out of fear that if I do, I may never leave. I pass the table where I sat when I first arrived and hustle down the hallway just as the tears begin to stream down my face.

  How could I lose control like that? Why did I have to dance with him? I shake my head and continue down the dim hall. “Elizabeth, everything okay?”

  I stop to see Preston walking towards me, worry filling his eyes. “Thank you. I’m fine.” I brush past him and shove the door open. The cold air hits me in the face, and I start to run. Just like I did six years ago. It’s funny how time really doesn’t change anything.

  ***

  “It’s all your fault, Elizabeth.” I hear the sound of my mother’s voice. I sit up in my bed and glance around the dark room. It can’t be my mother; my mother is dead.

  “Mom?” I say softly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Like a flash of lightning, she appears at the foot of my bed. My mother looks just like she
did the last time I saw her, with her blonde hair and clothes saturated in blood and puncture wounds everywhere. I cringe and cast my eyes away, unable to face her.

  “Elizabeth Rose!” she shouts. “Don’t you dare turn away! Look at me… see what you have done to me.” Reluctant, I slowly turn my head back towards her. Tears sting my eyes, and I barely breathe. “Are you happy now? Did you get everything you wanted from my demise?”

  “Mom…” I choke out. “I didn’t… I never wan—”

  “Enough!” she shouts again. “You should be rotting in jail alongside your father, you stupid bitch.” My mother lunges across the bed, arms extending out in front of her, revealing several jagged cuts along them. A scream escapes my throat.

  I’m awake now. Alone in my dark room. The sound of my cell phone ringing snaps me out of the nightmare. It’s been a long time since I have had one. I glance at the digital clock on my night stand; it’s a quarter after two in the morning. I snatch my phone from the nightstand to see a picture of Elias and me illuminating the screen. A calming wave washes over me. It was just a dream. A really vivid, horrid dream. I sink back against my pillow with my phone in my hand and answer. “Hel—” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. “Hello.”

  “Did I wake you?” Eli’s smooth voice comes over the phone. “I figured you might still be out.”

  “Nope, I’m home in bed and trying to sleep.”

  Eli takes a deep breath and sighs loudly. “So, tell me… how was your date?”

  I groan. “It wasn’t a date.” The thought of being on an actual date with Reid Harder is enough to make me want to laugh out loud. He is exactly the kind of man I would date, which is exactly why I have to stay away from him. I’ve already broken enough rules. “And it was worse than I ever expected.” That’s a lie.

  “What did he do, Elizabeth?” Eli’s voice is cold and hard. I take a sharp deep breath; it’s been years since he has called me by that name.